I designed this tarot spread to help get to the bottom of what’s got me feeling totally zonked — besides the fact that it’s the middle of Winter 😂😂 I drew from the Mother Mary Oracle, Flowers of the Night Oracle, and the Cook’s Tarot — I love how the art across these decks is so complementary!

I had some idea of what the result of thus spread would be, but was actually surprised at the way the answer presented!

The Shadow cards (cards at the bottom of the decks after shuffling), indicating the energy bringing me to the reading, are 21. Our Lady of Quiet Blossoming + Celebration | Casablanca Lily + I – The Magician. This combination tells me that part of what’s draining my energy involves simply *having to wait* for what I’ve been working on to come full-circle — this in-between meantime weighs heavily! Celebration recommends not counting my chickens before they hatch, and cooling it a bit in the indulgence department — The Magician promises that what I’m doing will come through for me in the long run, but I do need to stay on task and slack off way less 😅😂

In the main reading, 10. Our Lady of Creative Choice and Freedom | Chilean Jasmine tell me that what’s draining me, again, are my “work habits” — I’m self-employed so I don’t have a “boss” breathing down my neck, making me stay on task, which is sort of a blessing, but means I need to crack the whip on myself and find more structured ways to get it all done. I can do whatever I want, but I need to stop hiding from what needs to get done — avoidance and sweeping things under the rug puts my subconscious in a tizzy!

The 4 of Pentacles for Card 1: What is Draining My Energy nails it; money is extremely tight for us right now and jkkdjhdhd it’s taking all I’ve got to hold it together, haha! It’s interesting that the person on the card is putting cans in a cupboard as my main, most basic concern is literally putting food on the table, a blessing because at this point we at least have enough to keep the bills paid, evening there’s zero wiggle room after that.

Card 2: What started it? is the 9 of Cups, another eye-opener, super aligned with the Creative Choice and Freedom cards! Over the holidays I kind of went “f*ck it” and spent/overindulged a lot — that’s fun and all, but it opened a kettle that’s been hard to close. Making lemonade out of lemons is great, but now I need a lemon tree so there’s more to make more lemonade 😂😂 Wishful thinking is good but there needs to be proper action to support it!

I had to think on the 2 of Cups reversed for 3. What can I do to stop this? I often read the 2 of Cups as a “self-care/self-love” card, and I tend to go pretty heavy on the “oh well, self-care!!” excuse where it comes to buying myself stuff (like decks and unhealthy treats) when I’m feeling down, which causes a pinch later on. This tells me I need to find different, more sustainable ways to “fill my cup,” including drinking more water and choosing healthier ways to feel self-aligned.

Card 4. How can I protect my energy moving forward? is the Ace of Wands, elaborating on the previous card’s message — I always feel great when I’m creating, and working on my creative projects in turn helps get closer to the point where what I’m working on will actually help provide financially. Keeping my Inner Fire stoked and my motivation high will allow me to heal and maintain my energy — this makes me want to go draw right now! 😂😂 I also have to realize that I’m just at the beginning of regaining my energy after having Clover, tying this message back in with the Quiet Blossoming card.

The Higher Self cards (cards at the top of the decks after shuffling) represent a message of hope moving forward. 17. Our Lady of Truth asks me to maintain hope, trust that everything is unfolding as it should, and to admit to myself where more work can be done alongside realizing when just enough is plenty 💕 Balance | Chocolate Flower tells me to ground myself in life’s little sweetnesses, and again to trust that balance is being found, slowly but surely. 0 – The Fool affirms that a new start is coming, one filled with infinite potential — the draining nature of the past cycle will soon be just a memory, so continue to release my negative expectations and keep dancing with life until that time comes 💕

In conclusion, I’m in a powerful gateway moment, where baby steps are key to what will become longer, more confident strides in the future. It’s on me to gain control of myself through recognizing my own patterns and correcting my overindulgent tendencies and providing myself with a structure that works to support my long-term goals. Overall I just need to keep at it and be excited that I’ve found my path in life — I’m still just establishing the foundation of my legacy 💕

If you’re interested in a personalized reading with me, click on the Book a Reading tab or head over to my Etsy shop!

Decks used:

The Cook’s Tarot. Judith MacKay Stirt. Schiffer Pub Ltd., 2015.

Flowers of the Night Oracle. Cheralyn Darcey. Rockpool Publishing, 2018.

Mother Mary Oracle. Alana Fairchild. Artwork by Shiloh Sophia McCloud. Blue Angel Publishing, 2014.