Ah, the Page of Wands! A card for fresh energy and renewed passion, I often think of this little guy as the “student” card. When it comes up, that means we’re learning in such a way that we’re drawing ever-closer to something that will really allow us to fly, or will allow our sparks of inspiration to transform into a strong, steady, and illuminating flame!
The card’s actual meaning aside, for me, whenever this card comes up I immediately think of my daughter Iris. She’s technically a Page of Cups as she’s a Scorpio Sun, but she’s also an Aries rising and Leo Moon (both Fire signs) and in classical astrology, Scorpio is ruled by Mars, another fiery contribution! When I saw the Page of Wands today I thought of Iris, because I’ve been trying so hard since Ori was born not to be too hard on her, not to get angry at her as easily as I do, and to maintain perspective on my sweet girl who seems like a big destructive monster next to my tiny boy!
Of course she’s not a monster even if she is a fireball, and this weekend I was struck by an inspiring experience that very much embodies the Page of Wands’ message for me today. This weekend we went to a birthday party, and I was doing my usual hold-it-together-about-Iris-in-public thing. There was another young mom at the party, there with her 2-year-old and pregnant with her second baby. I noticed her primarily for her somewhat sour demeanour, which I mentally related to as being pregnant with a toddler is HARD! I didn’t speak to her at the party, but now I wish I could thank her, because she showed me what it really means to do your best as a mom.
I turned around after struggling to get Iris to tell me where she’d put her treat bag because I wanted to go soon. I heard little shrieks and looked over to see the 2-year-old jumping around on the couch, her mama sitting on the floor in front of her. I watched as the little girl booted her mom in the back of the head, laughing and shouting “mommy! Mommy!!” over and over, then cranking her mom’s head around to look her in the face and shout “MOMMY!!!” one more time, just for the joy of saying it! And I watched in awe as the tired woman smiled into her little girl’s face and just let her be little. She just let her be little.
That’s something I struggle with constantly: letting Iris get her ya-yas out in whatever way her little body tells her to at the time. I get so mad and frustrated, when all she’s doing is learning, growing, and sharing with me, her mom! Seeing that other mama patiently just allow normal toddler behaviour was so inspiring to me, and exactly what I needed to see in that moment. Even though she was tired and grumpy, she still had a smile for her energetic baby.
And so, today my Page of Wands lesson is letting Iris be herself, and in turn letting my own self off the hook as we move forward: I can only do better from here, using this new spark from that blessed other mama to guide my way towards choosing to understand, grow, and fly with my own fiery little Page!
Here’s my YouTube video for today as well!
Tarot Mucha. LWB: Lunaea Weatherstone. Artwork: Giulia F. Massaglia. Torino, Italy: Lo Scarabeo, 2014. © Lo Scarabeo Italy.